Funny driving test stories and videos from a driving instructor

Driving lessons in Birmingham

Funny driving test stories

Funny driving test stories

My first page on funny driving lessons stories was so popular that I’m back with some more. Here is a collection of funny driving test stories and some memorable moments from my adventures as a driving instructor.

 

The smelly pupil

I had a new pupil once who was a nice man but had a problem: he smelt really bad. During the lesson I almost threw up on several occasions because he was so smelly I couldn’t even breath, it was like breathing in raw sewage.

After we’d done the lesson and I got home I just couldn’t get rid of the smell from the car. I noticed it even followed me into the house and then I noticed what was causing the smell.

I had a lump of dog poo stuck the bottom of my shoe. It hadn’t been the pupil after all and I even emailed him saying I was sorry for the smell and thought it had been him. He didn’t believe me and didn’t want to book any more lessons thinking that I always smelt like that!

 

The new driving test centre

A new driving test centre was built and opened to much excitement. It had a spacious waiting room, a toilet for pupils and a private car park for pupils to do bay parking in.

When the first car drove in and parked in a bay they realised they had a problem; they’d painted the bays too narrow. You couldn’t even get a small car like a Corsa or Fiesta in without both sides of the car sticking out over each side of the bay.

The test centre was closed until the bays had been repainted.

 

Wakey wakey

I was teaching a pupil who provided me with a number of stories I can share with you.

The first incident happened on her first lesson with me. I drove her to a quiet location not far from where she lived and on the way there I was trying to find out a bit about her.

She was really quiet and not talking at all so I thought she must be nervous. Once I pulled the car over and got out I noticed she remained sitting in the passenger seat. I then noticed she was unconscious.

I’m not medically trained so the first thing I thought of doing was poking her in the face to wake her up. Luckily she snapped out of it and came round.

On it’s own that wouldn’t be too strange but you’ll hear more stories about this pupil as you read through this page.

 

The naughty builder

I went on a driving test with a pupil called Andrew. He was a big stocky man, strongly built and worked as a builder.

He had trouble even fitting in the car because he was so big and that makes what happened after his driving test even more funny seeing as the examiner was a small female.

At the end of the test the conversation went something like this:

 

Examiner – “What did you do at the start of the test that could have been better?”

Andrew – “I think I stopped on the crossing almost.” (The back bumper of the car was about 1cm over the white line of a pedestrian crossing)

Examiner – “Yes that was naughty wasn’t it. And we all know what happens to naughty boys don’t we?”

Andrew – “Err…”

Examiner “Naughty boys get their bottoms spanked, don’t they?”

 

Poor Andrew didn’t know what to say. His face was bright red and he looked like a school boy caught bunking off a class.

I┬ádrove him home in silence and I’ll never know whether she was winding him up or was flirting with him but his face was bright red.

For those of you wondering – yes he did pass.

 

The thief in the office

A pupil of mine once walked into the office a driving school I was working at. She scooped up an armful of theory test books, DVD’s and copies of the Highway code from the shelf and walked outside with them.

A female member of staff asked another if she’d paid to which to the answer was no. This girl had to run out after her and pointed out that they weren’t free and she needed to pay for them.

She went back inside the shop, paid for them and then spent around half a day in there reading them and asking the staff questions about driving.

This was the same pupil I mentioned above who became unconscious in the car. She’s not finished yet, she’ll be back for more stories further down the page.

 

Wave hello

This is more of an odd, almost paranormal story than a funny one. I was going to include it in my 2018 Halloween special videos but I thought I’d put it here instead.

I was in my car waiting for a pupil outside their house. I was ten minutes early but I saw her walking up the road so I waved hello. She waved back, pointed at her wrist as if to say “Just a minute” and then opened the door to her house, walked inside and shut the door.

Minutes passed and it got to the point where she was now a minute late. Two minutes late, five minutes late…

I walked up to her door and knocked. She answered but was surprised to see me and asked what I was doing here. I said we had a lesson but she said she’d forgotten.

I said “Well, you just waved at me so I thought you’d be out soon”. She had no idea what I was talking about. She said she hadn’t waved and she’d been in for hours. I asked if she had a sister who looked the same or something. She answered no.

I know it was her because I saw her wave and I saw her go in her house. I said it didn’t matter and I wasn’t bothered about her paying for the lesson. She still insisted it wasn’t her that I saw.

 

To France

I was on my way to pick up a pupil one morning when my phone kept ringing. Yes, this is the pupil mentioned above who became unconscious and tried to steal the books.

I pulled over when it was safe to do so and I saw a text from this pupil. She stated that she couldn’t do her driving lesson today because she was at the airport about to get on a plane to France. When she returned she told me the full story.

She’d woken up that morning after a dream where she’d met a man in France that she fell in love with. She booked the first plane ticket to France she could get, convinced that her dream would come true.

When she got there she didn’t meet anyone and came back to do lessons. And no, we’re still not finished with the stories about her yet.

 

Under the table

I had a new pupil who told me that he’d had lessons before with multiple instructors but wasn’t getting anywhere.

Within a few minutes of teaching him I’d worked out what the problem was and he said it was the best lesson he’d ever had. He was really happy and excited that at last someone had found the problem that had plagued him for years and stopped him from driving.

I turned up for another lesson the following week and soon after pulling up outside his house this woman came out. She got in the car so I asked who she was and what she was doing.

She said her son had booked the lesson but he was so terrified he was hiding under the kitchen table crying and didn’t want to drive. This man was 35 years old.

She said that instead of doing a lesson she wanted me to drive her to Tesco so she could do some shopping. I pointed out that I’m a driving instructor and not a taxi. Not only did she want me to take her shopping but she said she wanted it free and they weren’t going to pay for the lesson.

I told her I wasn’t taking her anywhere and she went back indoors. I never heard from the pupil again.

 

Where am I?

This is again about the pupil I mentioned above who became unconscious in the car, tried to steal the books and went to France.

I took her home at the end of a driving lesson and she asked where we were. I thought it was odd because we were parked right outside her front door.

She didn’t have a clue where we were and I had to walk her up to the front door of her house. Even then she didn’t know where she was.

She opened the door and then said “Oh yes, I remember now.”.

We’re still not finished with her stories yet.

 

Don’t give up

A pupil of mine went on a driving test and was all set to pass. We’d done about 40 hours of lessons, he’d passed a mock test and nothing was wrong at all.

I went with him in the back of the car as I have done hundreds of times before. We moved off and turned right at the end of the road then we turned left then right. After these three turns pupil said he needed to pull over so we did.

He said he didn’t want to carry on the test and wanted to quit. Nothing had gone wrong and he was only about 1 minute in having not picked up any marks at all.

The examiner walked back to the centre, I drove the pupil home and never heard from him again.

 

Straight ahead at the roundabout

I was on a driving lesson with the pupil mentioned above who became unconscious in the car, tried to steal the books, went to France and didn’t know her own house.

We were heading back home on the same route we’d always done but I reminded her to go straight ahead at the mini roundabout anyway. With no warning at all she performed an emergency stop just as we pulled onto the roundabout, causing the car behind to go straight through us.

The driver of the car that had hit us had only just passed her driving test the previous week. She had been following too closely so crashed into my car as we stopped.

A quick driving lesson here: It doesn’t matter if the car in front slams the brakes on. If you hit them it’s your fault no matter what because you should always be able to stop safely if the vehicle in front does.

We sorted it out and I took her back home.

That was the last I ever saw of her but it’s safe to say she’s one of the pupils I remember the most from my years of teaching. I still remember her name, where she lived and the “fun” we had on driving lessons.


I still have many more stories to tell. I’ll make another page in the coming months and put some more videos on there too, all about the same funny topic.

If you’ve enjoyed these stories then I’d really appreciate you hitting the like button at the top of the page and sharing them people.

 

 

 


     

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